Sum of the Parts
by Mage of Dragons
Summary: An animeverse drabble collection, on everything and anything. 60: PROMISE: Though he had not spoken it, he had made a promise, one that he could not break. 61: STRONG: Winry Rockbell was not a strong girl. No matter what they said.
1. Blood

**_A/N: Hi! Welcome to _Sum of the Parts. _It's a one-a-day drabble set that I started as a writing excersise. And because this is a challenge for myself, I am letting all new readers know that I will take any request, pair or prompt that you throw at me. Anyway, enjoy. And I apologise for this first one being so short._**

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**-Title: Blood- -****Word Count: 78- -****Warnings: Spoilers for anime espiode 40-**

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Marta's blood pours out of his armor, dripping down his metal body, staining the cloth he wears around his waist. He presses his hand to his side, as if to stem the flow of the crimson waterfall. And, as he stands there, unmoving, for a moment he wishes that the blood that is running through his fingers is _his _blood. Because, then, at least, he'd be able to feel. 

Then, at least, he would be able to cry.

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**_A/N: Review? I'll take any advice/flames/constructive criticism._**

**_P.S. Thanks to NaginiFay for alerting me to my stupid posting problem... for some reason, the computer hasn't been uploading all of my fics, even when they appear in the document viewer._**


	2. Humanity

_**A/N: So, here is the second one. Hopefully I'll be posting at least once a day... I'll probably put up another one tonight since the first two have been so short. Enjoy!**_

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**-Title: Humanity- -Word Count: 112- -Warnings: Nothing really. This is Roy's POV, if you can't tell-**

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"_A decade ago, you annihilated Ishbal and came back a hero of the State. Now I have Lior. It's my turn for fame." _

That's all you want, Archer? Fame? Glory?

So badly that you will start a war, sacrifice countless lives on both sides for such a hollow cause?

There is no humanity left in you, Archer. But, that in itself somehow gives me a tiny shred of comfort, or hope, or…something.

Because, maybe, after all, there is some shred of humanity left in me. Because, after everything that's happened, you would take all of these lives just for fame, while I would give everything to restore those lives I have taken.

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**Review?**


	3. Why?

**_A/N: So, here is a longer one, since the other two have been so short. I hope you like it, I wrote it in study hall today :) I'm so productive... anyway, enjoy!_**

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**-Title: Why?- -Word Count: 288- -Warnings: Spoilers for Conqueror of Shamballa. Told from Hoenheim's POV-**

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There is a question hanging in your eyes. It is all I can see, even as my own vision fades. Why? 

Why me, why now, why die without a fight? I see the questions in your eyes, but I don't answer, because even if I could verbalize what I am feeling right now, you would not be able to understand. Not yet, at least.

Edward, I have always loved you. Even from the day you were born and I first held you in my arms. There has not been a moment since when I have not loved you. You cannot understand how deeply it cut me to leave you. And you cannot imagine how much it hurts to have your son grow up hating you. When I first returned to Risemebool, the expression on your face, the hatred in your eyes was enough to make me want to die, because no father should ever hurt his son that way.

So, Ed, I am going willingly. Because either way, if I live, or if I die, I can still only cause you pain, and I have already caused you more pain than any person should have to live through. But when I die, I will do it knowing that it is not without reason. Though I cannot make amends for what I have done, I can, at least, try to help you one last time. I will help you return home, because even though you may hate me, I still love you more than you will ever know.

There is a question hanging in your eyes, but I cannot answer it. You would not understand. But it is enough just to know that I can help you to live.

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**_A/N: I think that, while I dislike Hoenheim for being a coward in more ways than one, he is also very misunderstood, and is more complex than he seems. Hope you like the drabbles! I'd love to get some more reviews..._**


	4. Trigger

**_A/N: So I'm not really sure what pair I wrote this for. I have an idea, but it's up to you to decide._**

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-Title: Trigger- -Word Count: 126- -Warnings: Nope-

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It is late into the night, and they are the only ones still left in the shooting arena. He is tired and upset and careless, but even if he misses the target every time, the repetitive rhythm is soothing. He doesn't know that she is behind him until he hears her quiet voice in his ear. "You're doing it wrong," and suddenly her arms are on top of his own, carefully repositioning his hands on the gun. Leaning over his shoulder, her face is pressed close to his. Together they pull the trigger and he _feels _the force of her smile against his cheek. "There," she says, "that's better." Then she is gone. 

Hesitantly, he puts his hand to his still-warm cheek and smiles.

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**_A/N: A big thanks goes out to all my reviewers... you're awesome. I'm interested in what you think the pair was for this. If you want, review and I'll tell you who I had in mind. And, if anyone has any requests or prompts they want to see, put it in a review... I have decided that I will at least attempt ANY pairing, in fact you will probably see a really weird one up here soon, which I wrote today to test myself on how well I could do it. And, a special note to _**TenshiElric, **_I have started on the one you requested, and it will probably be up soon. I have a lot written about Roy (I really love writing about him) so I am going to try and space them out. Peace out. (That was incredibly hokey)_**

**_Mage of Dragons_**


	5. Clean

**-Title: Clean- -Word Count: 60- -Warnings: Nothing specific enough to really matter-**

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Others would say that he had excuses. They would say that he was just following orders, or that he was saving the lives of his men by spending these two. Maybe they're right, but he's not sure.

All Roy knows is that there are bloodstains on his hands and not even the crisp white of his gloves can cover them.

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A/N: Sorry it's so short! I'll try to update sooner to make it up to you!_**


	6. Sum of The Parts

**_A/N: This is the drabble from which the whole fic's title is derived. I actually didn't have it written at the time when I named this fic, but I had an idea. I've put it off until now because I wanted it to really mean something. Hopefully you guys like it :)_**

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**-Title: Sum of the Parts- -Word Count: 220- -Warnings: None-**

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All of his life, Edward Elric believed that there was nothing special about humanity. Like a good scientist, he quantified everything; 35 Liters of water, 20 kilograms of carbon. Ammonia, Lime, Phosphorous, salt, and all the other elements. That's all that any human was. Life was not special or miraculous; it was a simple fact. Humans are born, they live, and they die. And when they are gone, their tiny footprints slowly fade from the world, until they are completely forgotten.

But now Ed has seen a new life come into this world, witnessed countless others leave it. He has seen friends and comrades die and felt the void that they have left behind. He has walked beside his brother all these years, looked into an unfeeling metal visor where there should have been a human face. He has seen the force and beauty and terrible deadliness of the human race. He can no longer ignore the force of a human soul, not after all he has been through.

Edward Elric still believes that human beings are simply the sum of their parts. But now, he knows that the things that truly make up a human being; memories and emotions and experiences and a _soul _cannot be calculated or measured or quantified. They can only be experienced by the heart.


	7. Foliage

**_A/N: So, TenshiElric, I know that you like Parental!RoyEd, and I'm still working on the one you requested, because I didn't like the way my first one came out. Anyway, this is RoyEd, and I know that some people don't like it, but, just so everyone knows, I'll probably do a bunch of random pairings (and some are really random, ie the next one I will be putting up). So, I hope you keep reading even if you don't like the pairs, and request the ones you do like! This is a challenge for myself, so I'll try to write basically anything. _**

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**-Title: Foliage- -Word Count: 112- -Warnings: Kind of set after CoS. Also, RoyEd.-**

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Roy looks out the window that looms behind his desk, his dark eyes scanning the iron gate and worn road below, the single entrance to HQ. His eyes search that path several times a day; each time, he finally tears his gaze away after watching for too many long, heartbreaking moments. There is no familiar form tearing down the road or bursting unceremoniously through the gate; he is disappointed once again. He lifts his eyes to the tiny stretch of horizon visible beyond the buildings of central. A small riot of color has erupted there. The leaves are changing, and the sight makes his heart ache, for, in his mind, it signifies only one thing; another year since Ed's been gone.


	8. Impossible

**_A/N: So, I wrote this during study hall one day, after I said that I would take any requests that people gave me for this fic. I was sitting there thinking, "hmm... so what happens if people request something really weird...like Ed/Envy??" (sorry if you like that pair) I just kind of thought "Ack!" and changed the train of thought, because I was just scaring myself. So then, I was like, "Hmm... what is the weirdest pairing you've heard of..." and this was born._**

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**-Title: Impossible- -Word Count: 82- -Warning: AU (has to be, based on the movie,) really wako pair-**

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There was one day when she notices just how attractive the shine in his grey eyes is when he talks about something he loves, and she realizes just how strong and steady his hand feels as it rests on her shoulder as he escorts her home. There was a day when she realized that their eleven-year age difference, while daunting, is far from impossible. That was the day that Elysia Hughes stopped calling Alphonse Elric "brother." She never regretted it.

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**_A/N: So, what do you think? Is it at all believeable? I'm still not sure... then again, the age difference thing never bothers me in pairs because my dad is 15 years older than my mom, so it seems natural._**


	9. Confession

**-Title: Confession- -Word Count: 145- -Warnings: Nope.-**

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The silver pocket watch that hangs on Ed's belt is a symbol. 

It is a symbol of achievement; of all the work he has put into becoming a State Alchemist.

It is a symbol of his burdens; a constant reminder of his sins.

It is a symbol of a promise; of the goal that he will never give up on.

But, most of all, it is a confession-- a confession that he knows that he has made mistakes for which he cannot atone. That he isn't always proud of the things he's done, of the person he's become. And anyone who has seen the inscription inside knew that it is a confession that sometimes, it seems that there aren't enough reasons for him to go on living. That, sometimes, no matter what he says, he isn't strong enough to bear this journey by himself.


	10. Return

**_A/N: So, this is my first attempt at a poetry-type drabble thing. Not really sure about the result. Don't ask why it's in italics, for some reason, it seemed right to me._**

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**-Title: Return- -Word Count: 105- -Warnings: Um... freeform poetry style-**

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_When I return_

_There will be a smile on my face_

_And a cheeky wave on my fingers_

_There will be a rhythm in my feet_

_And the future in my eyes_

_There will be a dream in my mind_

_And a story to tell in my heart_

_When I return_

_There will be the trace of the years on my cheeks_

_But the same old "hello" on my lips_

_There will be new scars you don't remember_

_But the same wounded soul underneath_

_There will be new strengths standing beside me_

_But the same old fears lingering inside_

_When I return_

_There will be a me that you don't know,_

_A me that you aren't used to,_

_But still **me**._


	11. Darkness

**_A/N: I have to say that this is my favorite drabble of all the ones I've written so far. It's fitting, actually, since this is the eleventh chapter I've posted (I've actually written 15 but I'm waiting on posting some of the ones that I don't like) and eleven is my favorite number. Anyway, thanks a million to my wonderful reviewers; you all really make my day. Enjoy!_**

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**-Title: Darkness- -Word Count: 134- -Warnings: um... (I don't seem to be using this as much as I anticipated... is that good or bad?)-**

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Edward Elric has always hated the dark. It reminds him of the nights when he would sit at his window, waiting in vain for his dad to return. It reminds him of the pupils of his mother's eyes as they slowly glazed over in death, and the color of the stormy sky on that terrible night when they had tried to bring her back. It reminds him of the lifeless, emotionless, _inhuman_ stare of a steel visor, and the shadowy stain of blood on clothing. It reminds him of the cold, harsh metal of a gun barrel, and the look of pure hatred he has seen burning in far too many eyes. Ed has always hated the dark; but tonight he is glad because it hides the tears he does not want to admit. 


	12. Muted

**_A/N: So, this is almost the sequel to Darkness. I never intended to write it, but I was sitting in the car on the way to a doctor's appointment, trying to study for my Chem 127 exam ( I don't understand what possessed me to take a college sceience course when I'm a sophmore in high school) when I realised that I had forgotton my periodic table, and thus was not able to do any work. So I was like "Gah! I hate cars!" and that made me think of the episode with Roy in the car, riding to the Fueher's house... and so I wrote this on the back of the practice exam. Science, get owned by FMA fanfiction._**

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**-Title: Muted- -Word Count: 200- -Warnings: Nope.-**

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Roy has never liked riding in cars. The feeling of never quite being in control, the way the scenery flew by too fast for the eye to follow. Cars were-- distant. Impersonal. They were cold metal machines, dangerous and mindless and inhuman. They could not think, they could not feel, they could not love, and Roy hated the feeling of being trapped inside that strange metal box, separated from the rest of humanity, as if his very heart had been muted.

He would much rather use his own two feet as a method of transportation, and he does, shrugging on a coat and a hat after his shift is over, and walking, (sometimes aimlessly,) through the streets of Central. He likes being able to see the shops and buildings as he moves past them. He likes the feel of the sun and the wind on his face, and the golden-red glow of the setting sun. But, most of all, he lives for the moments when he is able to walk down the street and catch the eye of a complete stranger, and exchange smiles, because it is at those times that he can feel at least a little human.


	13. Goodbye I

**_A/N: So, the first version of Goodbye left me deeply unsatisfied. I was thinking about it all day, cringing. I realised what was fundamentally wrong with the piece: I wrote it around two lines that popped into my head that I really liked, but those two lines didn't really fit in the same story. So I've split them up, one in each part of Goodbye. Anyway, I hope this version is at least a little better._**

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**-Title: Goodbye I- -Word Count: 247- -Warnings: Spoilers for Episode 25-**

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Elysia. My daughter. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to know that I will hurt you. I'm sorry to know that I will not be there with you as you grow; that I won't be able to see your first day of school, your graduation, your wedding. I'm sorry for all the pain that my absence will cause. I'm sorry that I never got the chance to hold you one last time.

I want you to know, more than anything else in the world, that I never wanted to leave you. I never would have, willingly. You have brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined. You were the most wonderful thing in my life, Elysia. I wanted to always be there for you, and it hurts me to know that I will not be there for you during the times you need me most. But if I know that you are still alive, then I can die, if not without regrets, then at least with hope.

I have hope, Elysia. Because I trust you. I know that you will grow up to be a wonderful woman one day, and just by living, you will make the world a better and brighter place. You can't even begin to imagine the effect that you had on mine.

So, goodbye, my daughter. Goodbye, Elysia. I love you, and I pray that we do not meet again for a long, long time. That would be enough for me.

Goodbye.

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**_A/N: So, what do you think? Is this better? _**

**_Currently, I am still working on revamping part II, but it shouldn't take too long. Expect it sometime later tonight._**


	14. Goodbye II

**_A/N: So here's part two... it turned out to have consiterably more of a plot to it than I had intended. Hopefully these two drabbles together will achieve what the first one did not. So, enjoy, and please review!_**

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**-Title: Goodbye II- -Word Count: 291- -Warnings: Again, spoilers for the infamous episode, # 25-**

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Roy. If there was one thing I could say to you now, it would be that this is not your fault. I wish that I could make you understand that, because I know that you won't. 

Roy, in the years I have known you, you have been the best friend anyone could have wished for. There could be no "Equivalent Exchange" for all of the times you helped me, laughed with me, stood beside me. No matter what I did, I could never repay you for everything you've done. But still, I had to try. You know that I would have followed you to the end of the earth; my only goal was to help you reach yours. So, you must understand that everything I have done, I have done so willingly. I knew the stakes, but you were-and still are-worth it.

Because, Roy, despite what you believe, you _are _a good man, one of the best I have known. And I know in my heart that you will be the one to change the country. I do not doubt that you will reach your goal someday soon.

And so, Roy, I will tell you; don't cry for me. I know that you will, no matter what I say, but I want you to understand: I'm a grown man. I understood the risks. I knew exactly what I could lose, but I could also see what we stood to gain; a better world.

There is nothing left for me to say, except that it kills me to know that you will blame yourself for this, and that is not what I ever wanted. But there is nothing that I can do to change that. So, Roy, my friend, my brother…

Goodbye.

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**_A/N: I'm really interested in what people think about these new ones vs. the original. Personally, I'm reasonably more satisfied. But that's maybe just me. I can be a bit prejudiced when it comes to my own work._**


	15. Rain

**_A/N: I guess I have been thinking about episode 25 a lot, since here is another drabble based around it. I always wondered what Roy really meant when he said, "it's going to rain today..." so here is my take. I tried to change my style a bit to make Roy's thoughts seem less cohesive and more fractured and confused, since he's pretty much going out of his mind with grief._**

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**-Title: Rain- -Word Count: 160- -Warnings: Spoilers for the infamous episode :)-**

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He was standing alone in the middle of a field, alone with his thoughts and the ghosts of the dead and a large grey tombstone that fills his vision. The same letters swim before his eyes, over and over again… _Maes Hughes, Maes Hughes, Maes Hughes, _jumbling together until he cannot see. He feels as if he is standing alone in this field, alone in the world, but his Lieutenant is standing behind him, waiting for him to speak, and he feels the pressure of the silence pushing against his lungs. 

"It's…" he starts to say something, but the words choke inside his throat. "It's…going to rain today," he finally settles for, not what he ever meant to say, but he sees in her eyes and hears in her voice that she understands what really is behind the words; that the real raindrops have already begun inside his own heart, and he doesn't know when they will end.

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**_A/N: I promise I will try to get away from episode 25 with my next one, even though I have one more idea. I might post one of my older ones, first._**


	16. Admiration

_**A/N: This is the first drabble I've started with a quote. But I felt that it really fit the heart of this piece, and Ed in general. Also, I've tried to break up the monotony of three in a row of the "infamous episode" by adding a little minor character perspective. This is actually the third FMA drabble I wrote, but I was hestitant about posting it. Not my favorite, but I think it's interesting, and I like the concept.**_

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_-Title: Admiration- -Word Count: 161- -Warnings:...nothing really definitive-**_**

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**"What is bravery? Taking risks? Yes, I agree. But what is bravest? Risking your life. And for that, you must be mortal. And heroes are." Athena, We Goddesses**

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Though she would not admit it, Lust admired Edward Elric. It was true, he had a life, a soul, a family; things that she would never have.

But that was not the real reason why she admired him. The simple fact was that she admired him because all of his actions, every single breath he took, carried infinitely more meaning than anything she could ever do. Each of his steps, every cause he undertook, was truer and nobler than anything she could ever hope for. And the simple reason for this was that everything he did, he did it in spite of the fact that, at any moment, he could die. Everything he did carried so much risk, compared to she, who was practically immortal.

He could feel, he could be hurt, he could die, and yet he still threw himself into danger. He lived freely despite his mortality.

That was one thing that she would never be able to do.


	17. Maybe

**_A/N: So this is another one of those drabbles about... let's say "unconventional" pairings. i.e. completely random and in no way cannon. Just getting that out there. But it was inspired by a thread on facebook on the strangest pair names you could think of, and it got me thinking of strange pairings (again!)_**

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**-Title: Maybe- -Word Count: 207- -Warnings: Weird Pair. Shounen-ai. Insanity. Twisted logic. Roy angst. Yeah, that about sums it up.-**

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Maybe, if he had been a better man, things wouldn't have turned out like this.

Maybe, if he hadn't lost so many things in his life, he would have been able to let go of _him_.

Maybe, if he had been able to say goodbye to Ed, to gain some closure, things could have been different.

Maybe, if Al hadn't come to see him while he was tired, and depressed, and so very _alone, _then those thoughts wouldn't have crossed his mind.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

He knows that if Ed were still alive, that, maybe, he wouldn't have felt this way.

But, oh, Al is standing in his doorway in _his _red cloak and _his _black clothes and he even has _his _hair, and Roy's mind notes that their eyes aren't the same; but if he looks anywhere but at Al's face, he can imagine that it _is_ really Ed standing before him. Maybe.

Maybe, it would be enough, to pretend like this. Maybe.

But, when it came down to it, though he looked and walked and dressed just like Ed, Al was so very different. Still, Roy had to hold onto the illusion just a little longer. Because, maybe, it was the only alternative. Maybe.


	18. Haunted

**_A/N: Okay, here is is, the remedy for the previous pair. It's... Royai angst? With a twist? Hmm... I don't really know. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that I love writing about Roy. Plain and simple. So he may recieve an overly large share of attention in these drabbles. But I promise that I will try to mix things up a bit. Because even the Flame Alchemist can get dull after a while._**

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**-Title: Haunted- -Word Count: 202- -Warnings: Very mild spoilers for CoS and epidode 51. If you squint.-**

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They love each other, Roy knows, and he cannot remember a time when they did not. But every time he looks at her face, or reaches for her hand, haunting images flash before his eyes, more real and more powerful than even the feel of her skin or the smell of her hair; the sound of her screams and sobs as he crumples to the ground, his life fading as blood pours from his wounds. The look of sheer terror, anguish and desperation on her face as she watches, helplessly, while he flies above the battlefield, leaving her behind. The completely trusting and wholeheartedly forgiving way she had welcomed him back home again each time, even after all the pain and suffering he has caused her.

The thought flashes through his mind. He doesn't deserve her. And she deserves better.

And so, it is with great difficulty that Roy Mustang places a single rose on his lieutenant's desk, and walks away for good. Attached is a single note inscribed with two words; "_I'm sorry." _

There is nothing more that he can say, but he knows that it will never be enough. Still, it is the only thing he can do.

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**_A/N: Reviews, rants, requests and other various forms of aprreciation greatly, well... appreciated. Thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys are awesome!!_**


	19. Rationale

**_A/N: So this is a little quickie to tide everyone over with some RoyEd for the time being. It's not much, but it's a train of thought that's been floating around in my head for a while now, since I went through the "epsiode 25" phase. The quote is actually from that episode. Anyway, I'll post another one tonight to make up for the length of this one, I've written it already, but it's not RoyEd, so sorry to dissapoint. But I will write more, soon, since that is my favorite pair._**

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**-Title: Rationale- -Word Count: 84- -Warnings: RoyEd. Don't hate on the pair.-**

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"When those two boys are in harm's way, sir, well, sometimes your decisions aren't exactly rational," Hawkeye had once said.

And she was right. Because when it came to Edward Elric, Roy thought, nothing was rational-- not his words, not his actions, and _definitely _not his thoughts and feelings.

But the most irrational thing of all was that, for once, it didn't matter. He didn't care about the reasons or the consequences. There was no rationality behind it; it just felt so _right. _


	20. Incomplete

**_A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating in so long! I had promised another chapter two days ago, but the site was mysteriously down when I tried to post. And last night, I had a HUGE essay due for US History, so I didn't have time-- as it was I only got about four and a half hours of sleep. I was exhausted, and we just had our biggest soccer game of the season-- it was our last home game, and against our rivals. But we won!!! So I'm celebrating with this; its another one of my favorites._**

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-Title: Incomplete- -Word Count: 155- -Warnings: Spoilers for Conqueror of Shamballa-**

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How do you, in a single moment, give up the one thing that has defined your entire life? What do you do, how do you live, when it feels as if a piece of you very soul has been ripped out?

The absence of alchemy presses down on him, a void far greater than the one created by his missing limbs. He feels suffocated, as if it is all he can do to keep on breathing, one shallow, labored breath at a time.

Ed swipes at his eyes with the back of a gloved hand, as if to erase the ghosts of tears he has not yet cried. With a sigh, he presses his hands together, sadly, resignedly. It has been less than a year, but he already knows that it is foolish to hope, foolish to try.

Still, he would give anything to feel the crackle of that power again. To feel complete again.

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**_A/N: To all my reviewers, thanks a bunch!!! And if you don't happen to like a pair I put in, please bear with me. Because I kind of make the rounds through all of them. And if you want to speed me up, drop me a review with your request!_**


	21. Wish

**_A/N: Edwin, for _**Cheeseycraziness.

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**-Title: Wish- -Word Count: 148- -Warnings: nope.-**

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They are lying on their backs on top of Granny Pinako's roof, just the two of them, staring up at the night sky. It is a rare moment of calm in his life, and lying here next to her is the only time when he doesn't feel compelled to be doing something. He is content to simply feel her comfortable warmth pressing against his side. 

"Look, Ed, a shooting star!" she exclaims, pointing, and there it is, a tiny point of light streaking across the horizon. "Make a wish," she adds thoughtfully, before squeezing her own eyes shut. For once, he doesn't argue that there is nothing special or worth making wishes on about a chunk of rock and ice burning up in the atmosphere. He just thinks how good it feels to be lying there next to her, before dutifully closing his eyes and making a wish.

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	22. Intentions

**_A/N: Here's another one. I got some serious writing done tonight. I think I wrote about seven different drabbles. So expect either another one tonight (actually its this morning, since it is currenly 12:58) or later tomorrow/this morning. __

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-Title: Intentions- -Word Count: 109- -Warnings: quote from episode 50... not really a spoiler, though.-

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"Just come back-- just come back alive!" Russell's words are echoing through the cavern, filling his ears; his voice is filled with anguish and desperation. Ed hears the command, but does not respond. It is because he is running now, he tells himself, and needs all the air he can to fill his lungs. He has to get there as quickly as possible. He has to save Al. But maybe, just maybe, the thought runs through his head that it is because by answering, he would be uttering a promise that he did not intend to keep. Because he _would_ get Al out of there. Alive. Whatever the cost.


	23. Memories

**_A/N: Here's another one I wrote last night. I was thinking about different prompts that I could use as examples, and I thought, "Ed, on a hill, holding a red balloon." But this is what ultimately came out of it. Also partly inspired by the little kids at our senior day on Friday-- we had a whole bunch of red and black balloons, and the wind blew one away, and they acted so sad. It was cute :). Anyway, thanks as always for the reviews, and hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

**-Title: Memories- -Word Count: 149- -Warnings: Nope!!-**

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"How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding way to get to your heart?" --Rent

* * *

_Here's the spot where we always used to have picnics_, Ed thought sadly, _and here's where mom taught Al and me how to ride our bikes_. He was walking aimlessly around Risembool, overwhelmed by the flood of memories that assaulted him. He had tried to forget, had tried to throw away his past, but burning his house down wouldn't--couldn't--erase the memories, he realized. Memories weren't like balloons; you couldn't just let them go and watch as they float away, disappearing forever. He could try as hard as he could to forget, repress them as far as he could, but they wouldn't just go away. Someday they would resurface, because those memories were a part of him, engrained into his mind and his soul. 

And, smiling a bittersweet smile at all of the painfully happy memories, he realized that a part of him did not want to forget.


	24. Love

**_A/N: Here's a really short one that randomly popped into my head... Royai and Edwin -ish. _**

* * *

**-Title: Love- -Word Count: 96- -Warnings: nope :)-**

* * *

How do you quantify love? Ed wonders. It isn't a physical being; you can't see it, you can't measure it. So how can you tell just how much you love someone, or how much someone loves you? 

But then, he thinks of all the bullets Lieutenant Hawkeye has fired to keep Colonel Mustang safe, and he remembers all the times Winry has set aside everything for days, not eating or sleeping, just to fix his automail.

And he thinks that, maybe, love can't be measured. But when someone loves you, you can tell all the same.

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**_A/N: Reviews will make me grin like a maniac, as well as help me through my insufferably long AP US History homework... :)_**

**_Another note: 100 reviews! Yayy! Thanks so much, that's really awesome. This fic has about four times the views of my other story in the TP fandom, but about twice the reviews. That makes you guys amazingly awesome reviewing readers!!_**


	25. Hope

**_A/N: So this is a poem I actually wrote in eighth grade, but I kept thinking about it and how much it seemed to fit Alfons Heidrich. I just couldn't get him out of my head. So here you go._**

* * *

**-Title: Hope- -Word Count: 128- -Warnings: umm... poetry? oh yeah, and kinda CoS. Thanks cheeseycraziness for reminding me!!-

* * *

**I hope for accomplishment

To leave my mark here

Before I'm gone.

Like immortal footprints

In the sands of time,

Never to fade.

So that years from now

Someone will come upon

What's left of me

And say,

"He has been here.

He has lived.

And he has made a difference."

I hope that

I will be remembered

Long after my time,

When the trees have grown

The land has changed

And only the rock remains.

I hope to be as strong

As stone,

The core, the rock,

My heart

Always the same

As it was today,

In this moment.

I hope that, even after the years have passed,

People can know me

As I am now.

For if I am not forgotten

I can never be truly gone.

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**_A/N: What do you think of the poetry. I'm pretty sure I'll just stick to plain old drabbles after this. I think they come out much better. Anyway, review!!!_**


	26. Burn

**_A/N: Decided I had to post a real drabble to make up for the poetry. I purposely left this pair ambiguous, though I had a specific one in mind when I wrote it. Anyway, I hope it's at least halfway decent._****

* * *

**

-Title: Burn- -Word Count: 164- -Warnings: Umm, nothing really, I think. But I'm tired, so this may not be entirely accurate.-

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Sometimes, Roy wonders if what they are doing is wise--or even sane. He knows that most people would have abandoned these efforts, this union, long ago, for fear of being consumed. For it is a flame that burns beneath their skins, hot and dark and deadly. Time has done nothing to quench those hungry flames, only increased them. He has spent his life studying, and observing, and controlling fire, so that he is almost fire himself, and he knows exactly what a flame of this magnitude will do. A fire this large cannot sustain itself for long; only implode, and when it does, Roy knows that it might just end up taking them with it. And so he wonders again if it was wise to allow this to continue so far. He knows that he could have stopped it if he had really tried. But then a thought, unbidden, leaps to his mind. 

'I'm the Flame Alchemist; who am I to fear being burnt?'

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**_A/N: This was inspired by the Matchbox Twenty Song, Busted. I love the line "I am the flame, I can't get burnt." It' just so... Roy._**


	27. Dream

* * *

**-Title: Dream- -Word Count:282- -Warnings: Spoilers for Conqueror of Shamballa.-**

* * *

Sometimes, it is easier and more pleasant to just ignore the real world. To shut everything that has happened out of your mind, and just _pretend. _Sometimes, reality just hurts too much. But, now, he sees that it doesn't mean that you should just ignore it. Because, while living in your dreams may be less hurtful and easier to bear, dreams are always only just that, dreams. And while sometimes you can escape from reality, the one thing you never realize is that, eventually, you will have to wake up from your dream and go back to the real world. And the longer you dream, the harder it is to open your eyes and face everything again. 

He had been living only in his dreams, Ed realizes. He had been so caught up in his stories and memories of 'home' that he had never truly seen what was in front of him. The first inkling of this thought had come when he first saw Alfons cough up blood… he hadn't even realized just how sick the other boy was. Now that Alfons is gone, Ed realizes just how much he did not know about his friend, things he could not or did not see because he was too caught up in his dreams. And now, everything is so harsh and painful again that he wants nothing more than to retreat back to that dream and lose himself in it. But he knows now that he can't ignore reality; that it will always catch up with him. And he sees now that delaying the pain will only make it hurt that much more. He only wishes that he could have known this sooner.

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**_A/N: So maybe I have gotten too philosophical for my own good for this one. I'm not sure. Anyway, hope you liked it. And, as always, reviews are greatly appreciated._**


	28. Unclean

**_A/N: So this one is also a little depressing. I posted this one instead of another one (which I will probably post next) because I'm still unsure whether to post it here or as a new story. it started out as a drabble but ended up being a short oneshot about Alfons . It's about 400 words, so it's a lot longer than my other drabbles, but it's still kind of short to be a oneshot. But either way it'll be up soon. _**

* * *

**-Title: Unclean- -Word Count: 163- -Warnings: Spoilers for episode 44... if you squint.-

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**There is dirt on his hands, coating them; by now it has spread to his face, his clothing. At one time, that ground was sacred ground, that dirt blessed by tears and prayers and love. Now, everything has changed. Ed hates the feel of the dirt on his hands; it makes his skin crawl, and his stomach is rebelling against him violently. But he continues digging, forcing the bile back down his throat. This is his sin; his burden to bear. And if the dirt that is smeared on his skin makes him feel unclean, then maybe it is only right. Because it is a part of who he is. He is a sinner. He is tarnished. He is no longer whole. And as he walks back up to the house, cradling that little embodiment of his sins and his love and his failures, he thinks that now, at least, he is as unclean on the outside as he is on the inside. 


	29. Felix

**_A/N: So I decided to go ahead and post my Alfons piece on here, even though it's really too big to be a drabble. Enjoy! And, just so you know, the title of this piece is twofold: I gave the name Felix to Alfons' older brother (because he can't have been related to the "other" Ed from the end of the anime, and Felix is the name of my friend's German exchange student) and also because the word felix in Latin (the language I take) means lucky. And I have always thought that Alfons is so tragically unlucky. He is good at making rockets and loves them, but inhaling fuel vapors is what makes him sick. He strives to make his life mean something, then loses it to give Ed his life back, and then Ed returns. Okay, so enough with the wicked long A/N. On with the show!_**

* * *

**-Title:Felix- -Word Count: 400- -Warnings: Spoilers for Conqueror of Shamballa. Also, seriously longer than most of the others.-

* * *

**As Alfons shuts his friend Edward into the spare rocket, it isn't the other boy's face he sees. It is his older brother's. It's been five years since Felix died; almost seven since Alfons had bade his older brother goodbye, waving cheerfully, so sure that he would see him again. On that day, Felix had left home to study art in France for a year. He never came back. A fire had broken out during the night at the dorm he had been living in, without warning. None of the boys who lived there were able to make it out alive. 

Alfonse is no fool; he knows that now, he is dying, too. All of this time, he has worked to make his life mean something, to somehow leave some evidence of himself here. Because he has seen with his brother how easily it is for a person to be completely erased from the earth. Sometimes, before he left home, it was hard to remember if Felix had ever really been alive. He was overcome by sadness on those days when it was especially hard to remember his brother's face. He doesn't want that to happen to himself. He wants to be remembered. He wants his life to mean something.

He has tried to make a difference. He's not quite sure if he's succeeded. Maybe he cannot leave an imprint, maybe it is too late. Maybe he will not live to see his second decade. Maybe what he is trying to do will fail and Ed will never return home.

But if he can return Ed to his home, give that other Al his brother back, then maybe that will be enough of an impact. Because he knows how much it would mean to have a lost brother return to you. He thinks of Felix, and how had never really said a true goodbye, only "see you in a year." He will never see his brother again. He knows that. But maybe, this other Al, the one he has never met, only heard of, can live the life that he, Alfons, always wanted. Maybe that Al can have his brother back, the way Alfons had always wished that he could have Felix back.

As the bullet pierces his skin and he feels his blood poring from the wound, he just hopes that what he has done is enough.

* * *

**_A/N: This one actually took a lot more thought and planning than I had expected when I first got the idea. Anyway, hope you liked it._**


	30. Enough

**_A/N: So there is a story behind this fic. It was acually the 8th one I wrote, but I never posted it because I thought it was so horrible that I couldn't even bear to read it. Then, last night, I decided to just grit my teeth and post it on my other (I call it my "crap") account, cailceadon flame. But then, I decided that I wanted to revamp _that _version and post it here. So I deleted it off of my other account and posted it here. So that leaves cailceadon flame without any fics, but that's okay, because I actually like this one more than I originally thought. So, this is dedicated to TenshiElric and everyone else who might have requested Parental!RoyEd. Hope you like it._**

* * *

**-Title: Enough- -Word Count: 290- -Warning: Language. Plus, Parental! RoyEd-

* * *

**It's the same routine every day that he's here. The Fullmetal Alchemist would barge into his office, all blustering temper and fiery anger. Roy would fight down his _own_ temper, and manage to keep his voice as cool as ice as he played the part of the all-knowing superior officer, even when he didn't have the answers. Even when all he wants to say is, the world's a bitch, kid. That's just the way it is.

But he doesn't. Because Ed is not a regular kid. Hell, he's never been a kid, not as long as Roy has known him. Ed is something very much akin to himself, somebody who's gone through hell, and without knowing how or why, lived through it. But Ed is only 15 and so Roy is going to be there to protect him from the world, at least a little. Because there was never anyone to do that for him. There had been no one to protect him in Ishbal. And he doesn't want Ed to feel the way that he felt, the way no human being ought to feel.

So, every day, his office becomes a battlefield; all clashing wits and tempers and intentions. It adds an immeasurable amount of chaos to his otherwise regulated, military day. But Roy wouldn't have it any other way. It's that madness that keeps him sane.

Because as long as he can still help Ed, even if he must do it without the boy ever knowing his true intentions, Roy knows that he is doing at least something good for someone else. And it can't outweigh all of the hurt that he's caused, but maybe it can be enough-- enough for Ed and maybe even enough for himself.

* * *

**_A/N: So was I justified in finally posting it here? I'd really like to hear what people think about this one. Thanks to all my wonderful readers. _**


	31. Change

**_A/N: So this drabble is inspired by the play _The Rise and Rise of Daniel Rocket. _I just went to see it, and now I can't get it off of my brain. It's weird because it's such an awkward play to watch, but then afterwards, the feelings that you're left with are very profound. And there were some pretty intense images in my mind, too. It made me want to go write. So I did. Hope you like it._**

* * *

**-Title: Change- -Word Count: 256- -Warnings: Kind of CoS. Ish. But also AU. Ish. Also, EdWin, from Winry's POV, just to clarify things.-

* * *

**She didn't know what or how or why it had happened, but it did. It seemed that everything up until that moment had been a faint dream, and she barely knew what life had been like before, only that it had happened. Someway, somehow, he had come back. Back after all these years, so many more than the last time he had left. It was as if she had lost control of her body, but all at once he was in her arms- or she was in his arms, she wasn't sure, and it brought back so many memories, as if that feeling of his warmth pressed into hers was etched into her body and her mind.

When he had held her, so tightly, the night her parents died, then night he had snuck inside her house to check on her. When she had held him, his body so fragile, as he convulsed in pain after his first automail surgery. And the last time she had seen or touched him, when he had finally come home to her after all that time. Back then, so many years ago, she had been young and naïve and filled with hopeless, childish dreams of happiness. Dreams that had almost been completely erased, worn away as time went on. She had allowed them to slip away because sometimes, things change. _Plans _change. And people change.

But then, thinking how good and how _right _it felt, the perfect way their bodies fit together, she thinks that sometimes, they don't. Because some things stay exactly the same.


	32. Clouds

**_A/N: Wow. This fic is honestly really old. It kina suffered the same fate as Enough... this was actually the 7th drabble I ever wrote, but I was hesitant about posting it. But I've decided that it should have its chance, too. (Now I'm referring to it as its own entity. Oh no.) So here it is. Hope you like it! Oh, yeah. It's set during the series. Really could be anytime._**

* * *

**-Title: Clouds- -Word Count: 264- -Warnings: nope!-

* * *

**

It is a bright spring day, and they could be out, searching for the Stone, but suddenly Alphonse pulls him down onto the grass.

"Look at the sky, brother," he says, and lies back onto the ground. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Something in Al's voice makes him obey, and he lies down beside his brother, feeling the cool smoothness of the grass against his skin.

The sky _is _beautiful, a deep, clear, bright blue with just enough pure white clouds contrasting against the infinite color. It is even more stunning because there is seldom time for beauty in their day-to-day existence.

The clouds are so perfectly soft and clean and light, and for a moment, Ed wonders what it would feel like to be _made _of clouds, because, right now, even his soul feels too heavy to bear.

His automail, his sins, his brother, his promise to find the stone; they all weigh him down, holding his heart captive, suffocating him and making him feel as if his whole body were made of lead.

He longs to be that free, that light, that clean, but this thought only conceives another sorrow to weigh his heart down.

Because, he thinks, even if they succeed in this crazy task, even if he sets everything right again, he will _never _be that clean. He has traveled too far down this path to ever turn back or erase what he's done.

He would never be made of the same stuff as clouds, but if he closed his eyes for a moment, he could at least pretend that he was.


	33. Human

**_A/N: Hmm... this one is... interesting, to say the least. I wasn't going to post it, but then my sister read it, and begged me to put it up for her. So this is dedicated to Beeky, since you'll probably be the only one who likes it. Anyway, the quote at the begining is from Avril Lavigne. Because I thought that it totally fit Lust._**

* * *

**-Title: Human- -Word Count: 220- -Warnings: Spoilers for Episode 47-**

* * *

_Is it enough to love?  
Is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out  
And leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life  
Id rather be anything but ordinary please_

* * *

Is this what it means to be human? Lust wonders. Is Wrath right? All this time… did I only truly want to be able to die like one?

As she lies on the floor, her life pouring out of her, she feels an incredible anguish flooding her entire being. Right now, she thinks, is the closest I could have ever come to being human. A flood of burning emotions surge through her, and she thinks that maybe, those emotions and this agony were what made a thing human.

The pain and anguish are taking over all of her thoughts, and for a moment, she wishes that she didn't feel so human now, because the pain is too hard to bear.

She is sickened by that thought; the thought that, now, she would give anything to become a homunculus again, just so she could have never felt this pain, the pain of being human, the pain of caring. As long as she could remember, she had wanted to be human, but now, the experience was an unnamable, unbearable agony to her, who in her whole existence had never _felt _before. She just wanted it to end…

The face of a man called Scar flashes in her mind, leaving behind a wake of pain as her eyes close, and she is gone.


	34. Greed

**_A/N: Alack!!! I try to write a Kimbley drabble, end instead end up with Archer. Why? I'm not really sure. But it felt good writing this one. I thought that I might be in a funk after relying on all of the drabbles I wrote during that one Saturday night when I was babysitting... I still have one or two more to post from that night. But I don't think I have to worry about losing inspiration or writing ability. Anyway, hope you like it. I think it's a neat bit of irony._**

* * *

**-Title: Greed- -Word Count: 157- -Warnings: Vague mention of episodes at the end of series, nothing too bad, I think-**

* * *

A smirk is playing across his lips as he thinks, _checkmate. _Frank Archer's pale eyes gleam ominously in the half light, his fingers wrapped possessively around a canvas sack. He's played his cards right, made all the right moves, and now everything and everyone is playing right into his hands. The power he seeks _will _be his; now it is only a matter of time. 

"Now even Greed can stop me now," he says, softly, yet with infinite triumph. It is half a promise, half a challenge, "as long as I have this." His fingertips stroke the canvas of the bag absently, his mind lost to corrupted dreams of power and violence.

Little did he know that it _would _be Greed that brought him down in the end, though greed of an entirely different sort.

* * *

**_A/N: I was thinking about writing a halloween fic for tomorrow (since it is halloween, at least for me. sorry for all of you not in the eastern time zone, but I only think in one dimension) but I don't have any ideas. Anyone have something they would like to see? I was thinking of (maybe) adding in something slightly fluffy, but I'm not sure if that would ruin the tone of the fic. So, yeah. Review. Tell me what you think. Opinions are appreciated and thoughtfully considered._**


	35. Halloween

**_A/N: I apologise for not posting this yesterday, but I got home from my friend's house at 10, and had a ton of homework. Anyway, this is kind of depressing... not at all what I intended, but I guess depressing is what you get when you study Gothic writing in English class... Anyway, hope it's not too bad._**

* * *

**-Title: Halloween- -Word Count: 223- -Warnings: Nope-**

* * *

Alphonse Elric walks slowly down the streets of Central, the orangey light of sunset reflecting off his armor body. Tonight was the one night when he blended into the crowd, instead of painfully sticking out of it. He hovered in the shadows, watching as people milled around the streets, all in costume, their laughter and voices bubbling up around him; a warm, comfortable noise muffled by the soft darkness. He had wanted to be here tonight, so he had gone alone; just to observe all the happy people on the holiday. He had only ever witnessed one other Halloween; such a holiday was not generally celebrated in a small town like Risembool, but one year his mother had taken them to Central to witness the celebration. On that night, he had been terrified of all of the costumes; the ghosts and zombies and other monsters. He remembered that Ed had laughed at him all night, calling him a baby for being afraid of something that wasn't even real.

Tonight, though, he isn't scared. Those monsters have ceased to frighten him. Perhaps it is simply because he's grown older, but there is something else to it, too. The face of the homunculus Envy flashes in his mind, and he thinks that perhaps it's also because he knows what _real_ monsters are like now.

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**_A/N: I will post another (real) chapter later tonight, since this is technically yesterday's drabble. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!!! You all get virtual Halloween candy!!! Here:) _**


	36. Reality

**_A/N: So I found this quote when I speed-read (sped read?) Nathaniel Hawthorne's book, the Scarlet Letter, on Sunday, over the course of five hours. And the second I saw it, I was like "Oh, wow. I'm pretty sure that this is about Roy and Ed..." it even used the word "transmuted!" So I had to write a fic about it, but I couldn't get anything to fit. Until now. So I hope you like it. Just a note: It IS RoyEd. So if you don't like the pair, I'm sorry, but I'd encourage you to read it anyway, because, for me I (at least tried to) sum up why I think that RoyEd is an (at all feasable) pair. And if you're more of a het person, I have some EdWin coming up, too. I'm trying to keep it balanced. Anyway, enjoy!_

* * *

-Title: Reality- -Word Count: 267- -Warnings: Umm.. RoyEd. Nothing explicit, but deff. yaoi.-**

* * *

"Both love and hate render a high degree of intimacy and heart-knowledge; each renders one individual dependent upon another. Philosophically considered, therefore, the two passions seem essentially the same. Both persons, mutual victims as they have been, may, unawares, have found their earthly stock of hatred and antipathy transmuted into golden love."

* * *

_What exactly is hate? _Roy wonders, _And what is love, really? _All his life, he thought that he knew the answers to those questions. People you hate are your enemies. You want to hurt them, cause them pain. You don't care at all about their thoughts or emotions or anything else. And people you love, those were the ones you would do anything for. All you want is for them to be happy, even at your own expense. Or so he thought. 

But on one night, five years ago, everything had changed. On that cold, dark, wet night, one boy had been thrust into his life, forever blurring the lines of reality for him. How one boy, even a brilliant, impulsive prodigy of a boy, could have so completely changed his reality, he still isn't sure. All he knows is that no words could ever sum up the emotions he feels towards Ed; hate, love, friendship, maybe even jealousy… He doesn't even try to understand it anymore. One moment he and Ed can be locked in the bitterest of battles, exchanging words and blows without thought towards the consequences, and in the next he would be throwing himself into danger just to protect the younger alchemist, anything to keep him safe from harm.

But, as Ed's lips press against his, their bodies fitting together in the most perfect way, he feels all angry thoughts fade away from his mind, so that he has to wonder why he ever thought that he hated the Fullmetal Alchemist, because all he can think about now is how much better love feels.


	37. Waiting

**_A/N: So, I know that I promised some EdWin, but I had a problem... the EdWin fics I thought I wrote are MIA. One drabble I hadn't realised that I'd already posted, and I'll have to look for the other one... but I'll try to get one up soon. This is actually the last of the fics that I wrote that Saturday night... two weeks ago? (Gosh, it seems like forever) when I went on a writing spree while babysitting. Now I can't rely on my reserve of stories when I'm in a hurry, and a need to find an idea for tomorrow's... anyway, I'll get on that, never fear (I really wanted to say that phrase) So, yeah, enjoy some AlWin:_**

* * *

**-Title: Waiting- -Word Count: 257- -Warnings: AU-ish, because Ed and Al have their bodies back-

* * *

**

Sometimes it seemed that Winry's whole life simply consisted of waiting. Waiting until Ed or Al remembered to call, waiting until the next time Ed broke his automail, waiting until the brothers finally got their bodies back. 

Every time, Ed and Al eventually left again, leaving her alone to wait and worry and wonder if they would ever even come back home alive.

It could only last so long. She was only human; she could not wait forever. They had gotten their bodies back, finally, but Ed was already gone again, off on some mission from the state. It was then she realized that she was tired of waiting. Ed was halfway across the continent, and no one knew when he would be home, but Al was here, and he cared, and he was so very real, unlike the Ed whom she hardly ever saw. Winry knew that Al would never make her wait like this, not unless he absolutely had to.

She stared at the window with a sigh. She had never wanted to be forced to chose, choose between the two boys who were the closest to her heart. '_I'm sorry, Ed,'_ she thought, '_I love you, but I can't take waiting any longer_.' Her heart was aching at the decision she had never wanted to make, but she had to continue. She couldn't wait for him any longer.

She stood slowly and walked back down to the kitchen, where Alphonse was waiting for _her_. She wouldn't be the one left waiting anymore.


	38. Want

**_A/N: So I apologise fot being MIA for a bit. It's just that I've pretty much had no life this weekend between Homecoming, Student Congress, Soccer, and church stuff. So, even though this piece isn't the best, I decided that I at least owed you all something._**

**_Anyway, another reason why I haven't posted is that I've started writing an actual chapter fic. Right now I'm almost done with the first chapter, so look for it in a couple days. So far it's called "Raes of Light"... it's an OC fic, which I swore I'd never do, but hey, whatever. If I post it on cailceadon flame, my other account, then I'll let you all know. Anyway, hope you don't hate me too much for this._ **

_

* * *

_

-Title: Want- -Word Count:239- -Warnings: Umm... spoilers for episode 40 something, can't remember which one. Plus, LANGUAGE. To an extent I never thought I'd reach. But Greed is just a BA kind of guy. He just swears ALOT.-

* * *

"…_Just see that we are avenged."_

Damn it, it was _his _fight. _His _problem. And yet, here they were, offering up their lives for him. Why? Why would they throw their lives away for him?

He didn't want to leave-- he didn't deserve it. But they _wanted _to die now, the dumb bastards. They said that he'd given them hope…didn't they understand, he had always only ever been out for himself? He didn't deserve this. They shouldn't feel this loyalty towards him. The thought ate away at his mind; perhaps gnawing away at what could have been a conscience, had he been human.

He _wanted _to fight. He _was _Greed after all. He wanted to fight his own battles, gain himself honor and glory and all that shit. He wanted to show that ass-kisser Lust and all of the others just _who_ he was to oppose their master. But, the thought struck him, if he fought, especially aginst one of the other homunculi, there was always the chance that he would not survive.

There was no way in hell he was dying anytime soon. He was Greed, after all. He wanted to live. And here were Law and Dorochet, offering up their lives just to give him a way out. And he could not deny it; he was Greed. He wanted; that was who he was. His identity.

And right now, he wanted to live. So, though it killed him to, he ran.


	39. Equivalency

**_A/N: This has to be, by far, the most interesting drabble to write. Right now, I'm home from school... because I broke my nose in a soccer game yesterday. So I'm miserable. Maybe my brain got injured when I got hit, too, and that's why I decided to write from the point of view of an inanimate object. More specifically, the Gate. Anyway, hope you like it._**

* * *

**-Title: Equivalency- -Word Count: 254- -Warnings:nope. -**

* * *

_"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost."_

Down on that pitiful mortal plane, Equivalent Exchange is a scientific law; a textbook principle understood by few and believed by even fewer.

And, during times of great tragedy, even the believers doubt the principle. But, the Gate thinks smugly, that is only because they do not see things with the same scope. They could only see their own pain and emotions at that single moment. For the Gate, there is no time or sequencing. Things simply _are._All that has happened and all that will happen exist not only _in _the Gate, but as a part of it. All events and beings exist together inside that plane, for Equal Exchange knows no order of events.

Most humans don't believe that the universe is controlled by Equivalent Exchange, because they cannot see the ultimate scope of things; or how events will unfold. They are fools. They do not count birth and death into the equation, because they cannot comprehend those mysteries. But birth is the first gain; death the final sacrifice. Everything is a balance; in the end, the net gain is always zero. Some can disbelieve, or try to avoid loss, but in the end, it is inevitable, because Equal Exchange is more than a law. It is the currency of the universe. And, one way or another, all mortals _will _pay up.

Equivalency will be maintained. The Gate will make sure of it.

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**_A/N: Reviews won't make my nose get fixed any faster, but they will certainly make me feel better :)_**


	40. Can't

**_A/N: I know I promised EdWin. And I'm working on it. Truly. I just need a good idea. Anyway, I was listening to FMA while icing my nose (I couldn't see because the icepack covers my whole face) when I heard the quote, and it just clicked. I don't know how it became RoyEd, though. I intended it to be parental. Oh, well. I'm posting this to celebrate me finishing the first chapter of Raes of Light. I just posted it. It's a lot longer than most of the stuff I write, so If you guys are bored with 200 word drabbles you might want to check it out. I don't know if its that great yet, but I definitely have some good plans for the plot. Okay, ending this ridicuclously long A/N. Now. hahaha._**

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**-Title: Can't- -Word Count: 178- -Warnings: RoyEd. Quote from episode 48, but no spoilers-

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**"_I can't let you come with me."_

The statement is simple. Six words. One breath. And yet, there is so much more behind it, so much he wants to say, but can't. Things he hopes that Ed can hear in his voice. Things he desperately wants Ed to understand.

I can't let you come with me…because this isn't your fight.

I can't let you come with me…because I don't want to see what I'm going to have do.

I can't let you come with me…because there's a chance you might get hurt.

I can't let you come with me…because I don't know how I could live if I lost you.

I can't let you come with me…because I love you.

Please, Ed. I hope you understand. There are so many things I want to say to you right now, but I can't find a way to speak. Because then, if I did, I would have to admit that this just might be goodbye. I'm sorry. But I hope you understand. I just can't let you come with me.

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	41. One

**_A/N: So this was just about as close as I've come to Edwin at the moment. It's onesidedNoahEd. With mention of EdWin. Anyway, I thought I should post this now, since the next time I'll be able to post is Sunday or Monday. I'm going to Washington DC with my school for a trip. And, even though I get home, I don't know how much I'll be able to post, because I'm having surgery for my nose next week...yuck. Anyway, enjoy!_**

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**-Title: One- -Word Count: 160- -Warnings: Not really any spoilers. Noah's POV, so you probably need to see CoS to understand completely. but not really.-**

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I want to be the one you cry for.

I want to be the one you love to see smile.

I want to be the one you always come home to.

I want to be the one you'd do anything for.

I want to be the one you always listen to.

I want to be the one you trust with your life.

I want to be the one you carry with you in your heart.

I want to be the one you open up to.

I want to be the one you always think of.

I want to be the one you love.

But I'm not that girl. That girl, the one you cry for, the one you live for, the one you'd die for, she's somewhere far away now. Somewhere I will never be able to go. Someplace that I can only see when you dream.

I'm not the one you love. I only wish that I could be.

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	42. Back

**_A/N: So, like Roy in this drabble, I'm back (from my trip to DC) which was pretty much a whirlwind tour of the Capital City. It was pretty much three days on a bus...but I did manage to write a couple drabbles, and even some about characters I've never written about before (yay!)...like this one, which is Havoc-centric. _**

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**-Title: Back- -Word Count: 148- -Warnings: Set during CoS, but not really spoilers-**

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"He's back," Havoc whispers reverently. He keeps his voice low, as if the figure before him were an illusion, to be shattered by any sharp words. His words are like a whispered prayer, though, right now, Roy's appearance is more like an answer to his prayers. The realization spreads through him… _he's back, he's really, truly back…_starting slowly at first, before surging through his mind and body in a wave.

His heart races; adrenaline makes his hands tremble as they clutch his gun. "Welcome to the party, General!" the words burst out of him, elated at the newfound hope. Roy is back. He will know what to do. He will set things right. Relief washes over him; the figure before him does not shatter. It's not an illusion; he's real, so very real, and he's here.

For the first time in a long time, Jean Havoc smiles.

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**_A/N: So, my friend on the trip read it, and said that it sounds very RoyHavoc, but, honestly, while the thought crossed my mind while writing it, I'm not sure that I wanted it to be. So, you can take it however you want to._**


	43. Better

**_A/N: I allocated myself 10 minutes for fanfiction before I have to start my mass loads of homework, including 2 AP US History essays, 1 english essay, AP Chem Probelems, and various assorted Latin work. Needless to say, I have gone horrendously over that time limit, but I had to get something up for you guys, even if it is a little rushed. So... here it is!!_**

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**-Title: Better- -Word Count: 247- -Warnings: Purposely ambiguous pair-**

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Scieszka stands with her hands clasped nervously behind her back, her stomach twisting in anxiety and…something else she can't recognize as she looks deeply into his eyes. She can hardly recall what it is that they have been discussing, though the conversation has lasted some minutes now. Now is a horrible time for her brain to have abandoned her, but it is all she can do to stammer out a monosyllabic reply. All she knows is a strong, inexplicable desire for things to go _right, _though she hasn't an inkling of what that term could apply to right now. She is sure that she has botched the whole thing; she is so upset and nervous that all she wants to do is cover her face and run back home to her books; written words were so much better, so much simpler than people. They were straightforward. They were dependable. You never had to worry whether or not a book _liked_ you.

She is so lost in thought and humiliation that she does not notice the look in his eyes, or the fact that he is drawing steadily closer to her, until, suddenly, his lips are on hers. She lets out a muffled squeal of surprise and steps back, before she realizes what has just occurred.

As she touches her fingers to her lips, staring up at him in wonder, she can't help but think that still, there are some ways in which people could be _far _better than books.


	44. Briefcase

**_A/N: EdWin-ish. For Toe-Jam-Stuff. I actually didn't know that I had written this; I wrote it in DC, but then completely forgot about it. So here you go:) And up next (after this one) is another new pair to add to the collection!_

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-Title: Briefcase- -Word Count: 213- -Warnings: Can't quite be counted as spoilers for CoS, but set before/during the movie.-**

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Day after day, week after week, she carries the same leather briefcase with her. It was once her father's, and inside are the automail arm and leg she has made for Ed.

Everywhere she goes, she takes that suitcase with her. It is like a little piece of Ed; a reminder of the void that he has left. It brings her pain, because it reminds her that Ed is still gone, but in some ways, she is glad for it, because that void means that she hasn't yet forgotten what life with Ed was like. At the same time, the briefcase's heavy weight grounds her, brings her back from her deepest thoughts and despairs. It reminds her that she is still alive, and that she still can hope.

She realizes one day that the briefcase has come to mean to her what Ed's watch meant to him; it is her anchor, and also her promise. It is her present and, at the same time, her future. It shows that she will never give up on him, that she will _never _forget.

With every step she takes, it brushes against her leg, the rustling of the fabric speaking to her as clearly as any voice.

_Never forget, Winry. Remember your promise. Remember Ed. _

_

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**Reviews are greatly appreciated.**_


	45. Because

**_A/N: So this is a pair that yuo don't see very often. But I'm not sure why, because it definitely has more possibility than some other ones you find on FF. Also, just to elaborate on my warning, I know nothing of Roma culture. My friend, (who is part Roma) once tried to educate me but that was a long time ago. So, any "tradition" or "culture" mentioned in this piece was entirely fictional and invented by me._

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**

-Title: Because- -Word Count: 194- -Warnings: Spoilers for CoS. Also, this fic is in no way representative of Roma (or Romani, as some call it) culture. Purely my own speculation.-

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Tradition required that the funeral dance be performed on a fresh grave of any fallen Roma. Alfons Hiedrich was not a Gypsy, but she had loved him. And he had accepted her, if nothing else. Though he was not a Gypsy, perhaps he was Roma at heart, and so dancing for him could be justified, if not by her people, then at least in her own heart. 

The dance of life and death was not intended to be sad; it was a celebration of passing. It required the dancer to perform the intricate steps with a light heart, to usher the soul on to the beyond.

Right now, Noah felt anything but lighthearted. Part of her did not want to dance, and the others argued that she did not need to. He was not truly a Roma, they said. She had no need to do this.

But she did. Though she did not want to do it, she needed to. So she sucked up her tears, and dried her eyes, saving her sadness for another time. Today she would dance for Alfons.

And when the others asked her why, she could only reply; because I loved him.

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**_A/N: Also, sorry this was a little late, but I had surgery to fix my nose yesterday, and I didn't exactly feel that great afterwards._**


	46. Brotherhood

**_A/N: Wow. As of... just now, I have over 200 reviews!!! This is so incredibly awesome. I did the math, and the total reviews for all my other fics total about 275. And I've been writing on for over two years, now. So thanks incredibly much. You all get virtual celebration cake. _**

**_On another note, I seem to be on a weird streak of fics all with titles that start with "B"... I was going to point it out last chapter, but then, I fiured, "nah, I'll probably break it next chapter." But then, another "B" chapter!!! I might have to write a special drabble just to get out of this streak. Anyway, enough with the a/n, and on to the drabble!!_

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-Title: Brotherhood- -Word Count: 255- -Warning: Set during CoS. Some spoilers.-**

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As the giant airship makes the passage between the two worlds, Alphonse feels the very second they cross the Gate. Not because the two worlds are any different, but because immediately, a flood of forgotten memories assaults him. The blind sense of determination and love he had felt for the past two years, the agony of _not remembering_ was still there, but now those memories are placed alongside those of the four years he spent with his older brother, trapped inside a suit of armor. Those years they had searched for the stone…they had seen war and horrors and death, but they had always been together.

Now, he remembers it all, not just the stories Winry and Rose and Mustang have told him. He can remember in horribly vivid detail the night he sacrificed his own life for his brother's, and how Ed, in turn, sacrificed his life to save Al's. The thought scares him, because sometimes it is a terrible knowledge, knowing that he valued his brother's life above his own, and that Ed felt the same way towards him. At the same time, it comforts him, because he knows that their sacrifices show just how deep a bond they have; not many could claim the same sense of brotherhood. Al knows that, no matter where the years or their travels take them, theirs is a bond that cannot be broken, not after all they have been through.

It makes him glad, because he cannot imagine living with things any other way.

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**_A/N: Yayy for Ed/Al brothership!!! _**

**_Reviews, besides making me jump for joy, also make living life in a nose splint (at least for the next week) tolerable. _**


	47. Sorry

**

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-Title: Sorry- -Word Count: 185- -Warnings: Set during Cos-

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**Noah, I'm sorry, but you have to understand why I can't take you with me… I've seen a lot of people over the years, during my travels. There have been so many names and faces that sometimes they all blur together. I've seen people in their glory and in their weakest moments, in joy and despair, in hate and love and every other emotion. 

You have to understand; people don't change. No matter who they are, or what world they live in, every person boils down to the same humanity, the same hopes and fears and love. There will always be the intolerance and prejudice and hate that you seek to escape. Better for you to face it here, in a world you know, where there are people you know, people who love you, than on the other side of the gate, where there would be a whole new world you could never fully comprehend. Over there, you'd be alone. And I would never want that for you, no matter what.

I'm sorry, Noah. But I can't take you with me. I'm sorry.

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	48. Kittens

**_A/N: I know, I am a horrible person for not updating for so long. But, school has just been hassling me, and I had to write the next chapter of my Group Askew piece, Eldorne's Atonement (if anyone reads Tamora Pierce fanfiction, and I know some of you do, please check it out!) and that was really very stressful. Plus, I just bought Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, and I was slightly obsessing over that for a bit. Anyway, updates from now on might be more sporadic, but I promise I will see this through at least to 50 chapters. I'd like 100, but we'll see. I don't want to give up on this fic, it's just that, in the winter and spring, I play two sports: track for school and soccer with my premier team, so I basically have no life. But I'll try to update at least once a week._**

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**-Title: Kittens- -Word Count: 199- -Warnings: Slightly AU. Set in Amestris, after Ed and Al get their bodies back :)-**

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There is something to be said for a warm, living touch, Ed decides. It has taken him over a year and seven new kittens to figure this out, but he thinks that he finally appreciates what Al has always seen in the little animals-- what _he_ once saw in them as a child. Living constantly on the road, always fighting for his life with only his suit-of-armor brother to accompany him, Ed had never realized just how important the touch of another living being could be. But now, with one kitten curled up in his lap, and another twining itself around his neck, Ed appreciates exactly what these cats have brought to him. It is remarkable how such small animals have the ability to make the large apartment seem smaller and more comfortable, the dark less oppressive, and the cold, aching loneliness more bearable.

But the effect is real and comforting, especially so when he or Al wake up in the night, terrorized by nightmares and memories. And the ability to say "yes, Al, we can keep the cat," has brought him more joy than he could have imagined, even after years of forcing himself to say no.

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**_A/N: This piece is dedicated to my two new kittens, Dylan and Farley, cause they're sooo cute :)_**


	49. Strength

**_A/N: Okay, so here is the story of this drabble. I was having an angst session of Ed-proportions about how I could not seem to find good endings for any of my drabbles, and lo! I looked down on the floor, and one appeared to me! I kid you not, wonderful readers. My notebook just happened to be opened to a previously forgotten (almost) finished FMA drabble. So here it is._**

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**-Title: Strength- -Word Count: 172- -Warnings: Not really. Quote from episode 38 or so.-

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**

"You have to understand, Ed, that not everyone can be as strong as you."

_Is that what you call this, Lyra? Strength?_ Was it strength that drove him to such lengths? He didn't think so; to him it felt like anything but strength.

It felt like _weakness. _Because, everything he did was in order to try and amend his past mistakes. Even if he set everything right, it still wouldn't be strength, because even then, he would have only atoned for his weaknesses, not overcome them.

He will never be strong, never be good, he thinks. He's made too many mistakes, hurt far too many people. He made a decision which ended in his little brother losing his body, and kept his guilty motivation in his pocket watch. He was no hero like everyone thought he was; he was just paying for his mistakes.

To the rest of Amestris, he was the "Hero of the People," a living legend. But in his own eyes, Edward Elric would always be anything but strong.

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**_A/N: I'm not sure if I like the ending as much as the beginning. Anyway, thanks to all the great readers who have put up with me this long. _**

**_(Warning: More Self-Advertising Ahead) And, if you wouldn't mind, maybe check out a new fic I've started? I think I has a lot more promise than Raes of Light, which I now look at and just think "what was I on when I wrote that?" Anyway, my drabble-writing-ness seemed to have worn off on the story (it's called The Devil's Arithmetic) because all of the chapters are sooo short. But there are three up already, to make up for that._**


	50. Lost Cause

**_A/N: So I broke from my one-word title rule for this one, 'cause it's so special. It's my fiftieth drabble, and though I don't want it to be, it may be my last. (Or at least for a long while.) So I wanted this to be special, which is why I held off on some of my other drabbles. Anyway, as you might have heard, my life officially ends tomorrow, because then I will be devoting six hours a day to school, and six more hours a day to track and soccer, as Indoor season starts for both tomorrow. This is another Roy and Ed one, though you can take it Parental or not. Hope you enjoy!_**

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**-Title: Lost Cause- -Word Count: 191- -Warnings: Not really. Set during episode 8-

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**"There was a reason why you became a State Alchemist, right, Ed? Can you really afford to be distracted by every lost cause?"

As the words left his lips, Roy wondered. Could he? In his mind, he turned his words back on himself. Why was he here, in a dark, wet alley, with a broken and jaded twelve-year-old, whose face was red with tears and whose hands were stained with blood? Why did he care so much about this boy, his feelings, and his future.

Sure, Ed was a genius, a prodigy. But there was something more to it than that. Why, ever since that night a more than a year ago, had he been strangely drawn to help this child? Ed had committed the greatest taboo. Roy distantly thought that should feel some sort of aversion to this fact. But, instead, it only made him sympathize with him more. Edward Elric may only be twelve years old, but he understood pain, and loss, the two things that he felt so strongly now.

And, in his heart of hearts, Roy Mustang knew that Edward Elric was far from a lost cause.

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**_A/N: You can't believe how sad I was writing that first author's note. I don't want this to be over. SotP has been a huge chunk of my life for a while now. So, continuing on my sentimental rant: If this is it, I have to say: thank you sooo much to all of my readers and reviewers. You are all amazing and I can't thank you enough for sticking with me all of this time. And I promise I will try to update when I get the chance, both this and The Devil's Arithmetic. Can't say as much for any of my other fics. _**

**_Anyway, just wanted to let you all know how awesome you are, and let me just say that even if I didn't get a chance to personally respond to every review, I read and loved all of them. Your reviews really made my day._**

**_Goodbye for now, _**

**_Mage of Dragons_**


	51. Reason

**_A/N: I'm baaack! Told you guys I couldn't stay away! Anyway, even though I have about five drabbles in my "incomplete" folder right now, I wrote this on sheer impulse. (When I should be doing my AP Chem or AP US History Homework, but, oh, well). And, just to note, since I'm now on chapter 51, you'll be stuck with me for at least another 24 chapters, until I reach another multiple of 25. Just 'cause I'm OCD like that :)_****

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**

-Title: Reason- -Word Count: 198- -Warnings: Nope-

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Sometimes, it is just all too much for him. The world is too random, too desperate, too hopeless. There are days when each step is an agonizing battle, each breath a conscious decision that is just too hard to make. Maybe it is raining that day-- or maybe the sheer overwhelmingness of life has just struck him in that moment for whatever reason. All he knows is that, on those days, it is all he can do to keep walking forward. It is all he can do to keep from curling up in a ball and choking on his tears. Those are the days when the cold black metal of a gun barrel starts to seem inviting, when it would be so easy just to sleep… and never wake up again. 

But he fights it, tears the gun away from his head and puts it back down on the table. At first, it is automatic, mechanical, and for several long moments, he cannot summon a reason as to why he shouldn't just _give up_.

But then he sees her face clearly in his mind's eye, and he knows that she will _always_ be reason enough to _live_.

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**_A/N: Honestly, I'm not really sure where that just came from. I intended it to be about Ed, but somehow it came out Royai. I guess you can blame pandafoot105's drabbles for the inspiration, if I came from anywhere at all. :) MoD._**


	52. Ten

**_A/N: Hi everyone!! I'm back with another drabble. Since it's a snow day today, you might even get a few more updates, (if I can) of this and The Devil's Arithmetic. Anyway, this next drabble's style is completely different from my normal style, so I'd like to see what you think of it._****

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**

-Title: Ten- -Word Count: 96- -Warnings: I don't know if it really counts as a spoiler, but certainly won't make sense until you've watched episodes 49 and 50-

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Ten years old. 

Selim Bradley was ten years old.

Ten years of his "father" always being away.

Ten years of false love and adoration.

Ten years living in the same home as a monster.

Ten years of unknowingly living a lie.

Those were ten years he never truly got to live.

Selim Bradley is ten years old, and his vision is going back. His chest burns. The hands that are wrapped around his throat, crushing his windpipe, are the hands of the man he called "father."

Selim Bradley was ten years old.

He never reached eleven.

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**_A/N: I was watching FMA last night, and I just felt so bad for that kid. His life sucked. And none of it was his fault. Anyway, I'd love to hear what you think of it, the style or the content, because (as I said) this one is radically different from what I usually write._**


	53. Good

**_A/N: Okay, so this was inspired partly by our discussion in APUSH class on the millions of soldiers killed in WWI, and also from a quote in one of Tamora Pierce's books, which says (this may not be exact) "Good rulers are rarely nice people, Kel." Anyway, hope you enjoy, and they're at least one more on the way soon._

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**

-Title: Good- -Word Count: 190- -Warnings: No spoilers, but a decent amount of Roy angst.-

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Good men are seldom good commanders, Roy knows, and good commanders are seldom good men. A good commander must be ready to throw soldiers lives' away without a second thought, in order to achieve victory. A good man would keep his subordinates safe, even if it meant defeat in the larger picture. 

Or so they were taught.

Roy Mustang was not a good man. He believed that wholeheartedly. He had done far too many terrible things to be called _good_, now. At the same time, he knows that he is not a good commander. A good commander would not have gotten to know his subordinates specifically and personally, just so that he would never be tempted to make such a decision.

Maybe it means that he will never be a good commander.

Maybe there is another way.

Maybe it _is _hindering him on his path to become Fuehrer.

But he has to at least try to keep a _shred _of his humanity intact. After all he's seen and done, he could not let people be killed without reason, not again.

Because he could never live with himself he did.

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	54. Christmas

**_A/N: Okay, so this idea is partly reused from one of my TP Christmasfics, but I figured that I can't NOT give y'all a Christmas/holiday present, since I already did one for Halloween, of all holidays. Anyway, enjoy, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!_**

_**Oh, yeah. Just so you know, I AM aware that there would be no Christmas in Amestris, since Christianity died out a while back. Just bear with me. And this is EdWin, for The Strangest of the StRaNgE. Hope you like it :) !**_

_**

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**_

**_-_Title: Christmas- -Word Count:194- -Warnings: Umm.. AU. For Christianity reasons already mentioned above.-**

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It was Christmas Day, and, somehow, he found himself waiting outside of _her _door, his knees jangling nervously. Nothing occupied his hands; they were clasped nervously behind his back. Anxiously, he rang the doorbell, praying that she was awake so early on a holiday.

He stepped back with a squawk moments later, when the door opened, and Winry's head poked out, her hair still tousled from sleep. "Ed?" She whispered sleepily, blinking at him, "What are you doing here?"

He could not look at her face any longer; his heart and mind were swirling with emotions. If he didn't act now, he may not ever get another chance (or summon up the courage, though he won't admit it.) So he stared at his feet, and said softly, "Merry Christmas, Winry," before stretching across the distance between them and brushing his lips softly against her cheek. Then, his face flushed and red, he fled back down the road.

Winry only half watched him go. Her hand had fluttered up to the place where his lips had touched her skin, and she couldn't help but think that it was the best Christmas gift she had ever received.

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	55. Remembering

**_A/N: So I have decided that I am totally in love with the pairing Al/Elysia. Despite the fact that it pretty much HAS to be AU to happen. Well, this one isn't AU, so it's sort of onesided!Elysia/Al. I don't remember what story I was reading where Elysia became a State Alchemist, but that inspired me. Anyway, hope you enjoy. _**

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**-Title: Remembering- -Word Count: 309- -Warning: Umm... I don't think there's anything I need to mention-**

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Some people say that I shouldn't remember the things I do. They say that I was too young to understand all of the things that happened when I was little.

Maybe that's true. But I remember all the same.

I remember Daddy, from before he died. The way he would always take pictures of me and Mom, smiling as though _he _was the one in front of the camera.

I remember Uncle Roy, before he lost his eye. Before he became Fuehrer.

And though the memory is hazy-- I was only four when he left-- I remember Ed. My big brother.

But there's one memory that's even more haunting than all the times I played with Daddy, or the times that Uncle Roy would stop by our house, and look at everything there with such a hurt face.

Big, silver eyes, laughing, sparking, tossing a conspiratorial wink at me from across a room. And even a metal visor, inhuman, and at the same time the most human face I knew.

Alphonse Elric. My 'bigger' big brother. My memories of him haunt my dreams. I see him everywhere.

That's why I made Uncle Roy teach me alchemy, and why I begged Mom to let me join the military, even though she never wanted me to.

Because, of all the memories I have, of all the people I've lost, _he _is the only one I have a chance to bring back. So I have to try.

And I'll do it, too. I'll bring him, and, if I can, Ed, too.

Because I love him.

I love Alphonse Elric.

And maybe it's childish, to hope like this. Maybe it's childish to love someone who I haven't seen in over ten years. Most people would say that it's impossible.

But then again, they also said that it was impossible for me to remember.

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	56. Knowing

**_A/N: Okay, so this one, I just have to say, annoys and astounds me with its utter sappyness. But that was the kind of mood I was in. I needed cheering up, because I have exams starting next week, and I have no track for three days (which means 3 days of not seeing the guy I was thinking about when I wrote this) and all I have to look forward to is...more studying! So, yeah. You have been forewarned.__

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_ **

-Title: Knowing- -Word Count: 178- -Warning: Sappyness to the extreme. Written after reading a sappy chain mail.-

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You never know how much you love someone until you realize how hard it is for you to be apart, Riza thinks. 

There are those long, agonizing moments when they have just said goodbye and turned away, but you are already waiting for them to come back.

There are the long, lonely nights, when you cannot close your eyes and _not_ see them, cannot sleep and _not_ dream of them.

There are the steady stream of days where you would do anything to push them out of your mind for just a moment, but are too afraid to forget their face, their voice, their scent.

There are the slow and painful hours when the pain of their absence becomes physical, and even throwing yourself into your work cannot erase the sensation.

And then there is the moment when you hear their voice from far off, and, as if in slow motion, turn towards them like a flower to the sun.

In that one moment, you know that you are at home.

You know you are in love.

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**_A/N: Ack. I may just barf at the extreme sugar. Yuck. Anyway, I just thought I'd post something so you didn't think I'd fallen into a black hole. I do have about 5 unfinished drabbles (I know, how can you NOT finish a drabble, but trust me, they are harder than they seem) and I will post them as soon as I get the chance._**


	57. Drowning

**_A/N: I'm back again after another extended abscence, which I apologise for, but which could not really be helped. Midterms were very stressful... and my grades this year did not make my parents very happy. But this came to me last night while watching Fool's Gold, and I thought that I'd post it here for you guys. I can't decide if it's Royai or Edwin, so you can take your pick._**

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**-Title: Drowning- -Word Count:212- -Warnings: Nope-**

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When he is gone, she feels as if she is living underwater. The weight of his absence presses down on her, making every movement, every breath, every thought harder than it was before. Without him, her vision is hazy; everything around her is an unfocused blur, tinted by grief and depression. Life goes on, because she has a job, and people who need her, but everything is so much harder now. Like she, long ago, learned how to swim, learned how to maneuver the currents and stay underwater, she must now learn how to live without him. Often, she struggles, almost drowning, but the thought of him is just enough to force her to keep on going.

Despite this, with every day, she is fighting the waves, and she knows that she cannot win. It is only a matter of time before she gives in to the water, to the unfathomable dark void that is his absence.

But when she finally catches a glimpse of his face, finally hears his voice after so long, it is if she can breathe again, and the sun is on her face for the first time in years. And even if she surfaces for only a moment, it is enough to keep her from drowning.

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	58. Alone

**_A/N: Okay, so I know that it has been forever. Like, almost literally forever. But RL for me has been very complicated and unproductive for me, soo... Anyway, I actually finished this one a long time ago, but I never posted it (I hope at least; I don't think its a double-post, but I sometimes tend to forget. So if this is a repeat, let me know) Anyway, even tho this is a very inoportune time for me (middle of final exams! ack!) I have one more drabble to post for you guys, either today or tomorrow... :)_**

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**-Title: Alone- -Word Count: 201- -Warnings: Slight Ed/Alfons. Thus, Conqueror of Shamballa-ish. But, if you've gotten this far, you probably should have seen the movie by now :P-**

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"He loved so deeply and completely that it seemed, sometimes, that he had not loved at all' The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail

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Alphonse loved his brother. That was one thing that he had always known. And his brother loved him—that fact was engrained into his mind and soul.

He loved his brother, and his brother loved him. That was the way that things were supposed to be.

Still, sometimes he wished that his brother had not loved him so much, wished that Ed had just accepted the sacrifice that he had willingly made.

Because then, at least, Al would not have to feel like this. Then, at least, he would not be so _alone._

It is a terrible thing to wake up suddenly and find your brother gone. It is more terrible to wake up and find that you had spent four years with that brother, but, somehow, they were simply erased.

He wishes that his brother had not loved him so much. Because, even though he is sure that he will see his brother again, it is a terribly lonely thing to be separated from the brother you love, without even the best memories to keep you moving.

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**_A/N: I know that I have been horrible to you all by not posting in forever... but, please? Review?_**


	59. Sleeping

**_A/NL Heyy! So, school's out, officially, and I'm back in action!! yayy!! Anyway, here you go, update #2 since my return..._**

**-Title: Sleeping- -Word Count: 239- -Warnings: Set during the movie. Also, one-sided Ed/Alfons- **

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Edward sleeps as though he will never wake; as though he were dead

Edward sleeps as though he will never wake; as though he were dead. His hair fans out over the pillow, a sea of gold. His limbs are spread-eagle, thrown across the blankets, hanging limply over the edge of the bed. His face is never calm, but rather, so…without emotion that sometimes, Alfons wonders if he really _is _dead.

He walks up to his sleeping friend, who lies unmoving on the bed. Tonight is a good night; he is actually asleep. On the bad nights, nightmares keep him awake the whole night long, though sometimes he pretends to sleep, for Alfons' sake.

Gently, Alfons runs his fingers down Ed's arm, as if to reassure himself that the figure before him is real. Still, Ed does not stir.

He stands there for a long time; just watching, until Ed turns over in his bed, just barely whimpering out a whisper of a syllable; "Al…" It breaks his heart; once again, it is just another reminder that Ed is part of world that he can never exist in; that every time Ed looks at him, he sees someone Alfons can only wish to be.

But Alfons will never say anything, will never let on that he wishes things could be anything else than what they are now. So, with a freshly broken heart and not completely dry eyes, he walks out of Edward's bedroom, just as he has done every night before.

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	60. Promise

**_A/N: Hi all! Wow, its certainly been a while, I've been completely out of the whole FF loop for... a while. Longer for FMA. And while this isnt anything new (the document dates november 2007... golly...), or ever anything astounding, it is _something _and i was cleaning through my files and saw the "drabble 42... incomplete" and decided to check it out, only to find that... it was already more or less complete. So now you have this, a lost gem from the hidden trove of Mage of Dragons! so, hope it does my writing as much justice as possible, and enjoy. _**

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"Open it again. The doorway. Do it now!" The bulky, black-clad figure stumbles from the remains of the rocket, its voice distorted and laced with rage. It stalks menacingly forward, towards Noah and the prone figure of Alfonse Hiedrich. The Gypsy girl's eyes widen in shock and fright as the monster comes closer, its footsteps menacing.

"I must destroy it! Sham..balla…"

All at once, Noah's face is replaced by the face of another woman's; it is Gracia now that the monster is stalking towards, and her words echo in his mind; "Please, Hughes, she's an innocent girl…Can't you keep her safe?" Though he had not spoken it, he had made Gracia a promise. A promise to protect Noah, a promise that he could not break.

With Gracia's face fresh in his mind, he steps to the side and pulled the trigger of his gun.


	61. Strong

**_A/N: So again I return from the dead! Not sure how permanent this is, but it was 11pm, I couldnt sleep, and my boyfriend went to bed 4 hours ago, so I was kinda lonely and in need of something to do. Hope you like it._**

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**-Title: Strong- -****Word Count: 228- -****Warnings: Set during CoS-**

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Winry Rockbell was _not _a strong girl. Despite what everyone else thought, despite the image that she made for herself, she just wasn't. Not at a time like this.

It wasn't that she didn't love Edward-- she did; truly, deeply, and completely. And that had stayed with her, kept her together all those times that he was gone and she was alone.

But this was different. She just couldn't understand where Alphonse was able to draw the strength from: to keep going, to keep searching, to keep believing that he was alive.

For all they knew he was gone. In some other world at best, lost to the gate at the very worst. Perhaps dead. No one knew. No word ever came.

She was alone.

Some nights she broke down and cried; others, she couldn't even bring herself to do that. She would simply lie awake in the darkness and let the despair, the total numbness that Edward's absence brought, wash over her, drowning out all else.

She kept living because that was her only choice, the only option left to her. She was suspended, torn in myriad directions, never moving in any certain direction.

Without him, she was completely and utterly lost.

No, Winry Rockbell was _not _a strong girl, she thought, whispering it over and over again into the darkness. Without him, she could not be.

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**_A/N: I'm not really expecting any reviews since I know when someone goes agesss without updating, their fanbase kinda goes down the toilet, but if you're reading this, and would like to drop a little 'hey, im still here, *someone* is still reading your fic' that would be greatly appreciated. It would also my day immensely. Thanks guys =)_**


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